Tom & Sherry: How to Have It All, by Elisabeth Glas
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Tom & Sherry: How to Have It All, by Elisabeth Glas
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This witty romance has a serious purpose: to lay bare the true reason behind our inability to “have it all.” By completely reframing the problem, Elisabeth Glas shows that it is not gender, which makes women underrepresented at the top of our corporations and men underrepresented in our households. In contrary, today men and women have the same opportunities, but they make different use of them. And the reason is guilt. But because guilt influences our decisions and behavior without us realizing it, we keep solving for the wrong problem. Even worse, every day we waste valuable hours managing our guilt, and as a result have turned both workplace and home into cultures of over-delivery. The solution: to eliminate that waste.
Tom & Sherry: How to Have It All, by Elisabeth Glas- Amazon Sales Rank: #3378909 in Books
- Published on: 2015-09-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .56" w x 5.50" l, .63 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 220 pages
About the Author Elisabeth Glas is a trained historian-turned-management consultant with a strong belief in the power of reframing a problem in order to unlock its solution. Born and raised in Switzerland, she divides her time between Manhattan and Milan. Tom & Sherry is her debut.
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Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. ' The book does a great job in dissecting guilt By Leyla A refreshing, at times almost shocking book, because its message is so simple: 'We have so many choices, but don't make use of them because of guilt.' The book does a great job in dissecting guilt, one of the most hated and least talked about emotions.By doing so, it enables the reader to suddenly see behaviors and decisions in a completely different light. That's when the shock happens.The book moves fast and comes up with a completely different solution: to eliminate guilt by perceived minorities into a majority, more specifically to have moms and dads join forces, instead of fighting each other. Again, so simple, yet so true. The book doesn't stop here. It rather becomes almost painfully specific by applying a business concept - The Toyota method - to the household.At the beginning it felt daunting, but the analogy is brilliant. Once I overcame the initial hesitation it was so much fun to go through my day and check where I could eliminate waste. A must read, not only for parents! Besides it is also a short and fun read - thanks to Tom & Sherry.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful. Easy to read and engaging By laura Easy to read and engaging. Glas lays out an interesting perspective on juggling priorities in the modern family. An interesting read for couples trying to figure out two careers, kids and personal downtime. Densely packed with a fun little love story to keep you reading..
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful. Missed the mark, in my opinion. By Ladybug Initially, I thought this book was a novel. The book title, coupled with the playfulness of the book cover, made me think this was going to be "light fiction with a point." In actuality, Tom and Sherry is mostly nonfiction, written more along the lines of Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, Unfinished Business: Women Men Work Family, All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, and Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom, and Wonder.There IS a fictional component to this book, however. Characters Tom and Sherry appear in every chapter. They banter back-and-forth with each other about work pressures, family obligations, parenthood, relationships, and the social expectations they feel stifled by. While I didn't find the inclusion of the fictional story especially helpful or entertaining (in fact, most of the dialogue between Tom and Sherry seemed somewhat contrived and cheesy to me), I think author Elisabeth Glas intended to use their story as an aide to better illustrate the book's main points.Truthfully, though, the message here is pretty simple. Glas believes that the key to "having it all" is to eliminate choices motivated by guilt. She argues that we do more (or sometimes less) than we want or need to because we are still trapped by antiquated social expectations of what men and women "should" do as workers and parents. In her opinion, if we could just "eliminate guilt-driven choices, we [would] be able to eliminate wasted energy and time, allowing us to have it all within the course of a 24-hour day, every day." So, in other words, guilt makes us waste our time. And Glas argues that once we eliminate guilt, areas of waste will become obvious. Eliminate the wasted time and efforts, and, voila!, your kids will be ready to go to school 30 minutes before schedule. (Don't I wish...)If that argument sounds overly-general and vague, well, that's because it is. Eliminating "guilt-driven choices" covers a lot of ground. It's a nebulous term that is difficult to pin down in real life. Glas acknowledges that different people will feel guilty about different things, but she has trouble giving realistic and convincing examples of what even SOME people might feel guilty about and how they might change it. The few examples she does give are too cliche to be relevant. For example: Mom makes dinner, washes dishes, puts the baby down, and then folds laundry...while Dad sits in the easy chair and watches TV. Mom could use some help, but she feels guilty about not being able to do what is expected of her as the primary caregiver, so she never asks Dad to lend a hand. When I read that example, I thought, What century is this? I'm 35, married, with three kids, and NO ONE I know lives like that. It's a tired example from a gone generation, and I think we are mostly past it.I think Glas is correct in acknowledging that gender stereotypes absolutely still exist and that guilt helps keep them alive. But our inability to find balance in our lives is not COMPLETELY about our own personal feelings of guilt, right? What about lack of access to child care options? No paternity leave or paid maternity leave? Is Glas saying that if we stopped feeling guilty we would fight harder for these benefits? I'm just not sure.Ultimately, I felt like Glas didn't acknowledge the true complexity of the "work-life balance" struggle, so her solution seemed out-of-touch and unrealistic to me. As someone who is in the parenting trenches everyday, I really just had trouble finding concrete advice in here that I could use.
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